HOW MANY PSYCHOLOGISTS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?

Creativity
John Cleese

Foster an Environment for Creativity

1. Space
2. Time (specific start and stop): should be 1.5 hours
3. Time (give your mind as long as possible to come up with something original) -- defer decision until decision date so you can be uncomfortable in creativity)
4. Confidence
5. Humor (it releases us)

Other Points

• Play
• Only accessible in the open mode
• Keep your mind returning to the subject at hand and you will get a payoff.
• More fun with others, but there is a danger that if someone makes you feel defensive, you could lose confidence.
• Generate random connections, and let intuition guide you to something insightful.

FINDING HAPPINESS AMONG A HAYSTACK OF CHOICES

The Paradox of Choice
Barry Schwartz

• More options does not equal happiness

YOU WON'T FIND GREATNESS. UNLESS...

You Will Fail to Have a Great Career
Larry Smith

• Excuses
• Family, relationships
• Imagine saying to your kid, "I had dreams once, but I gave them up to have you." No! Follow your passion!
• Fear of failure
• Unless...

REDEFINING MINDFULNESS

Be Your Own Therapist
Buddhist Monk

• Happiness is what you get when you give up the pursuit of things to make you happy.
• You can have your cake and eat it, too. Let go of the neurotic dependence on the money, girlfriend, and other beautiful things, but don't necessarily give up on those endeavors.
• By being in touch with the fact that things change -- the law of impermanence -- you can walk a more healthy balance of letting go when losing something you care about. You will miss "it" but it might not take your heart with it.

PROSOCIAL MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS

Michael Norton: How to Buy Happiness

• Prosocial spending increases happiness
• Selfish spending doesn't necessarily affect happiness
• Example: Dodgeball teams that spend money pro-socially end up dominating the league.

CONNECTED, BUT ALONE?

Sherry Turkle: Connected, but alone?

• If you cannot be alone, you will always be lonely
• Social media can feel like you’re connecting, yet without the responsibilities of friendship
• Use technology when you feel moved, not when you want to feel moved
• Looking to technology to engage you in life will ultimately perpetuate the loneliness and emptiness

The paradox and contradiction within Turkle

Human relationships are messy

Connecting in "sips" may work for gathering discrete bits of information or for saying "i'm thinking of you".

Technology appeals to us most where we are most vulnerable

We're designing technologies to give us the illusions of companionship without the demands of friendship.

3 Gratifying Fantasies

1. We can put our attention where we want
2. We will always heard
3. We will never have to be alone

I want to have a feeling, therefore I need to send a text.

SOLUTION: Cultivate the capacity of solitude

Develop self awareness regarding using technology

When we loose our words, stumble, is when we reveal ourselves.

ENJOYING WITHOUT QUALIFICATIONS

My intention is to frame my attempt at the Boston marathon, in anticipation of and stories thereafter, as something that I have fully earned, regardless of the distance or pace I run. I intend to enjoy all of the pre- and post-race festivities and celebrations as much as possible without diminishing my presence in the moment with qualifications and comparisons to external influences.

After I've congratulated someone on a recent race, I've often heard them lessen the value of their accomplishment by comparison to how they perceive my fitness. This comes across through tone or denotation, and it saddens me. 

Similarly, I now face the same challenge. How can I fully enjoy the celebration, the process, of this week around the marathon, without lessening the credit deserved for my perseverance and dedication in training, physically and emotionally?

RELAXING, WITH A SMILE, INTO THE POSSIBILITY OF FAILURE

In anticipating of toeing up to the start line on Marathon Monday, I feel a knot of excitement and anxiety. My hip hurts slightly when I walk and I will have spent 5 weeks without running by race-day.

I've said many times, "I'll be happy with myself if I do everything I can to run Boston." (Am I trying to convince myself as much as my friends and family that I will feel resolved about this choice?) In committing to running the first mile, regardless, I am fully aware that reaching my physical limit amid a cheering crowd at Mile 1 will likely arouse deep feelings of inadequacy.

Not running at all, would surely be safer, emotionally and physically, but shouldn't I give myself the opportunity to know without question, that I gave it my all? In visualizing the endless crowds and palpable excitement lining the streets, I yearn to experience every earned minute that I can hobble through. After a mile, I will heed the needs of my grumpy muscles if they cry out sharply or cause conspicuous limping.

What is the process, the story, the frame, the set of actions, that will challenge and excite me the most, such that I can smile now, at peace with the moment and uncertain future? 

OVERCOMING THE PLATEAU

Sorry to hear about the frustration despite your efforts. That would be really frustrating. I can assure you that your efforts are far from being in vain. You may be pushing up against a plateau right now as far as results go, but keep in mind that weight is really only a small percentage of what you're getting out of your efforts. Learning about yourself, physically and emotionally, as you continue on your journey will prove to be incredibly valuable as you look into the big picture of future endeavors.

How can you stay motivated? What things can be done to stay motivated? Feel the frustration fully... there is life in that. Now choose how you respond to it. In looking back on this years from now, how would you want to frame the story? What can you do to frame it positively? What would your future self want to tell your present self?

Your endeavor is honorable and worthy. The struggle you're facing is what makes it a challenge, and with it bigger potential for rewards. Recognize that what you thought you were up against may seem bigger than expected, but that you are up for the challenge as it really is, because you burn for the victory of conquering your goals.

What can I, personally, do to help you along? 1 thing, what would have the most impact? Holding you accountable? Calling/checking in weekly? Wait... You don't need my help. But if you want it, feel free to ask. :)

Oh, and smile, because of the journey. Don't wait for the destination. You're worth it.

On Finding Balance: The Interesting Place between Polar Advice

Go for it! Just do it! Take a risk!

Measure twice, cut once. Sleep on it first. Don't push the stream.

External and internal advice dialog can be helpful reminders in situations where the "right" direction is obvious, but how do you navigate the fuzzy middle ground? I find it not only more interesting to think about how I navigate these questions, but also more rewarding. In a big enough frame, it's not about what answer I've made, but how I got there, that will be useful going forward.

Perhaps the ideal resolution would be to find a way to honor both sides.

What polar advice do you wrestle with or have solved? How do you draw the line between the two?

TO DO EVERY DAY

Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work

• 3 Gratitudes
• Write 3 per day
• Journaling
• 1 gratitude per day
• Exercise
• Meaning to your thoughts
• Meditation
• Hear your thoughts
• Random Acts of Kindness
• See impact of your thoughts

OVERCOMING OPTION PARALYSIS

Pria Parker on the Fear of Missing Out
http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/TEDxCambridge-Priya-Parker

• Do NOT: Impediments/obstructions
1. Get It Done Syndrome
1. Productivity without purpose isn’t helpful
2. Why do you do what you’re doing
2. Hedging bets and maintaining optionality
3. Maintenance
1. Takes more energy to create, build, think... but important to do!
4. Prioritize success over mastery
1. Ex: networking vs creating/learning... choose creating/learning
5. Stuck in their heads
• DO
1. Ask what kind of life do I want?
1. Cutlivate ways to ask and listen to the answer
2. Listen to the voice that drives you
2. Accept sub-optimal outcomes
1. Embrace that these may be the result of a choice
2. Ex: choose 1 party over 3, and then be present
3. Say “no” and be ok burning bridges
1. Know your own guiding principle and stick to it
• Howard Therman
1. “Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
• Reference:
1. http://globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/08/millennials-paralyzed-by-choice/

ON COURAGE AND VULNERABILITY

Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability

• It’s all about human connection: it’s what gives live meaning
• Shame: the idea that if something is exposed one would be excluded
• You must be able to be comfortable with who you are, beyond who you think you should be, to be connected.
• Those who felt they belong, felt worthy of belonging and showed:
• Courage: to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart
• Compassion: have compassion with myself, and then with others
• Connection: result of authenticity, let go of who I think I am, to let myself really be
• Also
• Willingness to say I love you first
• Willingness to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out
• Feeling these are fundamental
• Vulnerability is the core of shame, fear, and struggle for worthiness and also the birthplace of joy, creativity, love, and belonging.
• I challenge myself to:
• To let myself be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with my whole heart, even though there's no guarantee -- and that's really hard
• To practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when I’m wondering, "Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?" just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive."
• Probably the most important, is to believe that I'm enough.
• When we work from a place, that says, "I'm enough," then
• we stop screaming and start listening,
• we're kinder and gentler to the people around us
• we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.

ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS BY BEING A GOOD PERSON AND LEADING A PASSIONATE LIFE

Randy Pausch: Really achieving your childhood dreams
http://www.ted.com/talks/randy_pausch_really_achieving_your_childhood_dreams.html

• To be filled in...