I've said many times, "I'll be happy with myself if I do everything I can to run Boston." (Am I trying to convince myself as much as my friends and family that I will feel resolved about this choice?) In committing to running the first mile, regardless, I am fully aware that reaching my physical limit amid a cheering crowd at Mile 1 will likely arouse deep feelings of inadequacy.
Not running at all, would surely be safer, emotionally and physically, but shouldn't I give myself the opportunity to know without question, that I gave it my all? In visualizing the endless crowds and palpable excitement lining the streets, I yearn to experience every earned minute that I can hobble through. After a mile, I will heed the needs of my grumpy muscles if they cry out sharply or cause conspicuous limping.
Not running at all, would surely be safer, emotionally and physically, but shouldn't I give myself the opportunity to know without question, that I gave it my all? In visualizing the endless crowds and palpable excitement lining the streets, I yearn to experience every earned minute that I can hobble through. After a mile, I will heed the needs of my grumpy muscles if they cry out sharply or cause conspicuous limping.
What is the process, the story, the frame, the set of actions, that will challenge and excite me the most, such that I can smile now, at peace with the moment and uncertain future?
Evan -- It seems that you have spent a lot of time thinking about how to experience Boston despite injury. So much time and effort has led up to race day on Monday and now is the time to remember that sometimes the process can be more meaningful than the product. While there is no easy answer, your plan is an incredibly creative one that allows to you experience Boston while also taking care of yourself. There is no doubt that, if you have to end your journey at mile 1 or at any point before 26.2, you will have all sorts of feelings about it -- both positive and negative. If you don't give it a try, however, the only thing that you will be able to think about is... "what if?". You've qualified for Boston -- something that so very few people are able to do -- a huge accomplishment in and of itself. I will be thinking positive thoughts for you on Monday. And, if by some chance you make it to mile 6, I will be among the crowds cheering you on!
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