PROSOCIAL MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS

Michael Norton: How to Buy Happiness

• Prosocial spending increases happiness
• Selfish spending doesn't necessarily affect happiness
• Example: Dodgeball teams that spend money pro-socially end up dominating the league.

CONNECTED, BUT ALONE?

Sherry Turkle: Connected, but alone?

• If you cannot be alone, you will always be lonely
• Social media can feel like you’re connecting, yet without the responsibilities of friendship
• Use technology when you feel moved, not when you want to feel moved
• Looking to technology to engage you in life will ultimately perpetuate the loneliness and emptiness

The paradox and contradiction within Turkle

Human relationships are messy

Connecting in "sips" may work for gathering discrete bits of information or for saying "i'm thinking of you".

Technology appeals to us most where we are most vulnerable

We're designing technologies to give us the illusions of companionship without the demands of friendship.

3 Gratifying Fantasies

1. We can put our attention where we want
2. We will always heard
3. We will never have to be alone

I want to have a feeling, therefore I need to send a text.

SOLUTION: Cultivate the capacity of solitude

Develop self awareness regarding using technology

When we loose our words, stumble, is when we reveal ourselves.

ENJOYING WITHOUT QUALIFICATIONS

My intention is to frame my attempt at the Boston marathon, in anticipation of and stories thereafter, as something that I have fully earned, regardless of the distance or pace I run. I intend to enjoy all of the pre- and post-race festivities and celebrations as much as possible without diminishing my presence in the moment with qualifications and comparisons to external influences.

After I've congratulated someone on a recent race, I've often heard them lessen the value of their accomplishment by comparison to how they perceive my fitness. This comes across through tone or denotation, and it saddens me. 

Similarly, I now face the same challenge. How can I fully enjoy the celebration, the process, of this week around the marathon, without lessening the credit deserved for my perseverance and dedication in training, physically and emotionally?

RELAXING, WITH A SMILE, INTO THE POSSIBILITY OF FAILURE

In anticipating of toeing up to the start line on Marathon Monday, I feel a knot of excitement and anxiety. My hip hurts slightly when I walk and I will have spent 5 weeks without running by race-day.

I've said many times, "I'll be happy with myself if I do everything I can to run Boston." (Am I trying to convince myself as much as my friends and family that I will feel resolved about this choice?) In committing to running the first mile, regardless, I am fully aware that reaching my physical limit amid a cheering crowd at Mile 1 will likely arouse deep feelings of inadequacy.

Not running at all, would surely be safer, emotionally and physically, but shouldn't I give myself the opportunity to know without question, that I gave it my all? In visualizing the endless crowds and palpable excitement lining the streets, I yearn to experience every earned minute that I can hobble through. After a mile, I will heed the needs of my grumpy muscles if they cry out sharply or cause conspicuous limping.

What is the process, the story, the frame, the set of actions, that will challenge and excite me the most, such that I can smile now, at peace with the moment and uncertain future?